Total Surrender

I read another adoption blog called Transformed from Glory to Glory. It is also a blog about a large adoptive family. They are missionaries in Africa. I have been really inspired by this woman's goal of total surrender to God. This idea also came up in a bible study I have been participating in last night. A good friend also recently lent me a little book called Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence-The Secret of Peace and Happiness. Oh! I get it God. You don't have to hit me on the head with it. Alright, I am paying attention now, Lord. What does total surrender look like? How do we go about it? Total surrender is letting go of our self-righteousness and pride and bending our will to God's will. Not a real popular thought in today's world because it's all supposed to be about ME, right?? Am I getting fulfilled? Are my needs getting met?? The world tells us this and they have absolutely no idea that this is the direct antithesis to true happiness. It is only by serving others and trying your utmost to do God's will on earth that you will ever get anywhere near true happiness here on the earthly plain. This was brought home to us with our latest adoption of our son, Joshua. We had been waiting for a year for a special needs placement when we realized we would have to use the money set aside for his placement fee to do a major repair on our home. So, I thought it is good we haven't heard anything because we don't have the money right now. Well, lo and behold, as soon as I thought this our social worker called us about Joshua. He has some issues with his brain and they said his prognosis was unknown. We called our social worker back with a definite yes thinking we would probably finance the placement fee. This all came about at the beginning of this year when banks were tightening up their lending policies and our credit union turned us down even though our credit is pretty good. Maybe I shouldn't have told the loan officer the purpose of the loan was so we could adopt our tenth child!! Ha! Ha! Well, a friend put out a fund raising e-mail for us and we raised $725 and I was so thankful. Then, a couple of weeks later a distant relative felt called to send us $1000 not even realizing that we needed the money for our adoption. Then, on Easter our pastor asked for donations for us and raised another $2500 for us. I was in tears and so overwhelmed with thankfulness. I thought we can do this, we will figure out the rest Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Well, He wasn't done with us yet. An anonymous benefactor came forward with the balance of the placement fee which was $8000. As the friend who dropped off the check sat in our family room visiting with me, our social worker called to tell me she was supposed to call me last week to tell us she needed the balance of the placement fee by the next day. She was very apologetic. I told her there was no problem. I would drop off the check tomorrow. I was smiling to myself as I got off the phone because I know why I didn't get that call from her the previous week. God did not want us to worry. He had it all figured out for us. We were surrendering to His will. We were doing His work. He would take care of us. A couple of weeks ago, I took Joshua to Johns Hopkins to see a pediatric neurologist. He said Joshua looks great and so far, we don't see any delays or problems from the issues he has with his brain. His sweet personality lights up a room. As my friend, Tam says, he is a total distraction. All smiles and cheerful sounds. So, what does total surrender look like?? For our family, right now it looks like a little boy named Joshua.